Hi everyone,
So. I did a thing.
I GOT AN INSTAGRAM. Yes, I know (Cue the "What?!" from my friends and family who I swore I would never go on that social media platform).
It's not that I don't think Instagram is a cool concept, I mean, it's how everyone stays connected nowadays. My problem? Social media gives me anxiety. I used to be on Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, and Xanga (remember that one?) but it wasn't until I got older and realized that a lot of my insecurities came from social media. "Why wasn't I on a luxury vacation in Fiji?" "Why wasn't I twirling around with my boyfriend in a field taking beautiful photos of ourselves (this was my thought before I met Cody, of course) and why can't I freaking be as confident as the girl who posts bikini photos on the beach?!" Ultimately, my question to myself was "Why can't I be as happy those people seem to be?"
As those types of posts from the people that I listed above became more frequent on my daily news feed, I was quickly becoming more and more depressed. I compared myself too much to them and why? I think it was because I have a fear of not being liked. The whole basis of posting beautiful landscapes and when you feel cute in an outfit is because your followers can hit the "like" button and you instantly get that gratification that they are jealous of you because you are at this unbelievable location and that you look amazing. Right? Wrong. This is all my perception as to why people post and it all stems from my anxiety. I'm in my own head a lot and because of that, I let social media get to me and it caused me to stop building and keeping relationships with people.
Alas, I am now back online after a year of being radio silent (I learned a lot about myself within that year but I'll save that for another post).
Going back to my fear of being liked, I came out of retirement because of how many people who were asking me where I bought my clothes or if I could style them. "You should get an Instagram, everyone follows fashion bloggers on there" everyone would tell me, so I finally gave in and did it this past weekend. I stalled for so long because I was scared that no one would follow me, people would make fun of my clothes, and I would just be a laughing stock of the internet. Guess what? As of right now, I have 82 followers and no one has laughed at me..or have they (Ugh. anxiety again)? Honestly, it feels really good and I'm kind of happy to be back on it because I missed knowing what was going on in everyone's life. I even shamelessly plugged my blog URL on my profile and I actually had a few people message me and say how I inspired them and that they suffered from anxiety as well! It felt so good. THERE IS ACTUALLY PEOPLE OUT THERE JUST LIKE ME?! WHAT?
I hope I become insta famous and have several clothing brands ask me to take photos in their clothing and I end up making tons of money, but if not, at least I tried it and didn't let fear stop me from doing it.
Wow. My first fear was starting a blog and now I'm starting a fashion Instagram. What's next? Stay tuned. For now, I hope I inspired you to do something out of your comfort zone. Take a risk, it just might be worth it.
For those wondering about my Instagram, my handle is curlyhairedfashion. Follow me :)
EDIT: I change my username to match my blog, it's now "younganxiousandthriving"
Give me a follow ;)
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