As some of you know, if you follow me on Instagram, I am currently reading the book "The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brene Brown. Two topics discussed in the book that resonate with me are shame and vulnerability. The author mentions three things that we all need to know about shame:
We all have it
We are afraid to talk about shame
The less we talk about shame, the more control it has over our lives
We are all afraid to show our true selves because if we do, those that we opened up to could think less of us, and then the feelings of being unworthy of love and belonging start to set in. In turn, this is why some of us cope with our emotions and narratives by turning to drugs, alcohol, and food because we are scared of being vulnerable with someone. Once I finished this chapter of the book, I started to cry. Growing up, I was always a shy kid. I never let anyone get to know me because I feared rejection, judgment, and embarrassment. I sometimes think about the potential friendships and romantic relationships I missed out on because I was not being my true self. Being vulnerable is risky, you are exposing yourself and hoping that you get the response you want. I hate to break it to you, but you may not always get the compassion or empathy you would have liked, however, if you accept it, learn from it, and move on, you could very well grow from it. The more you open up, the less anxiety and shame you will feel. You are essentially letting yourself free. :)
I'll end it here with a few tips I learned from Brene Brown:
Recognize that being vulnerable takes a large amount of courage. Open up in small increments, and when you do speak your truth, pat yourself on the back for your bravery.
Let go of worrying about what others think of you.
If you start to feel overwhelmed, focus on your breath and sensations in your body. Collect yourself, and then get back to the task at hand
Don't worry about being perfect, no one is. The more you hold on to that idea of perfection, the more easily you will give up on yourself.
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